Lesson Learned

I have learned such a great life lesson this week.  Five years ago I took a college course called Children's Sewing.  At first I felt like I was hopeless, but my professor was really encouraging and said I was a natural.  So, I started sewing a little at home on a machine Chris bought me.  I was devestated when my machine broke.  I can't tell you how many times since I have thought "if only I had a working sewing machine."  A couple weeks ago Chris and I were organizing the basement when we came across my old sewing machine.  I considered selling it but Chris suggested we likely wouldn't get much money for a broken sewing machine.  I decided to give it one more try to see if I could get it going.  I blew the dust off, opened a manual, and went to work detailing the machine.  Two hours later, I turned it on and it hummed perfectly.  My big lesson is this . . . I totally gave up too soon.  I was so frustrated with my machine five years ago that I convinced myself that it was beyond what I could fix.  I lost five years worth of good use!  Think of all the cute things I could have sewn!  Victory is sweet.  Since I fixed it I cranked out a rag quilt yesterday and then Hallie and I made this new apron this morning.  I am so happy I gave it one more try.  And I hope I can learn from this lesson and keep trying on other things . . . and not lose five years of fun!

Simple

Here are some simple things that bring my girls joy recently . . .

Riding a horse at the grocery store . . . for a penny!

The freedom of pigtails.

Eating chocolate without abandon

Raiding Mommy's purse

Friends visiting on our bird feeder

Princesses lined in a row (some more scantily clad than others)

Dressing up and boogying down

Rolie Polies

Butterflies (just like Fancy Nancy)

Happy Friday!  Hope you can enjoy simple things this weekend!

Away

We adore our kids.  We talk about how cute they are all the time.  They have delightful personalities and are just such a great fit for our little team. 

The kids before leaving for Grandma Judy's house

But I totally adore my husband.  He is the real deal.  No one has a work ethic like this guy.  If I need anything-- a drink of water, a pen, a piece of chocolate, he would run a marathon so that he could get it for me right away.  And I can't fathom it but he gets more handsome for every year we are married.  I am constantly asking myself "how did I get such a good-looking husband?"  Now that the gushing is out of the way . . . let me get on with the rest of the story.

We knew after the crazy couple of months a weekend away was just what we needed to celebrate nine years of wedded heaven.  Friday night, Chris dropped off the girls at his Mom's house (a.k.a. the reason we could have a weekend away in the first place).  I took pictures and video of the car driving away.  This was our first night without Claire since her birth. 

                                                                                       

That night we went out to dinner and came home to relax.  The next morning we were not awoken by Claire's pterodactyl screeches but instead by our own natural alarm clocks.  Bliss!  We took our time getting ready the slow, before children way.  Alert the media, instead of wet hair pulled up in a bun, I actually curled it.  After we were all ready to go, we dropped off a stroller at Grandma's.  We had forgotten to do it the night before but were excited for the excuse to see our girls again.  They were in heaven at Grandma's and could have done without us, but we loved that even though we had a "weekend away" we didn't miss seeing them one day.

Our view at CPK, replete with flavored lemonades

Our first stop on our getaway tour was the Denver LDS temple.  There was no better way to refresh than that.  We were able to go to our house of worship, listen to inspired guidance and instruction, and reflect on marriage, our life, and eternity.  I felt closer to my husband, closer to my Father in Heaven, and closer to my deceased family members.  Awesome!

A nice dude took a blurry, far away pic for us

After the temple, we headed to our hotel in Downtown Denver.  It was perfectly situated next to the 16th Street Mall so we had fun shopping, architecture, and food at our disposal.  Chris told me that good vacations to him are all about "great architecture and great food."  I concur.  This was the first time I tried priceline.com for a hotel rate.  I will do it again.  We paid $60 for a room that is normally $199 a night in a four-star hotel. 

The gardens in Denver are gorgeous this time of year!  I am a big-time gardener.  Correction, I have a heart of a big-time gardener, I haven't had the chance to let that talent flourish yet.  But someday, I'm going to be really good at it, believe me.  (It's in my blood).  I have read ten gardening encyclopedias this year . . . seriously.  I was amazed at how great the gardens at the temple and downtown were.  We saw a huge variety of flora and fauna and didn't even visit the Denver Botanic Gardens yet.

We ate like a king and queen.  Marlowe's and Crepes and Crepes are on our favorite's list now.

Wouldn't this be your new fav place too?

 

Besides extreme loves of food and architecture, Chris and I are history geeks!  Imagine our excitement at the King Tut exhibit at the Denver Museum of Art.  We were prohibited from taking photos in the exhibit, but Chris and I were speechless.  I almost cried on several occasions.  To see treasures that you have awed about in books for years now right in front of you. . . amazing!  We even got some little trinkets for my history teacher husband's classroom.

Great weekend!  Great husband!  Great mother-in-law for watching the kids! Great nine years married!

A little glimpse at grieving . . .

So I want to keep it real as I blog because this is honestly, in large part, my journal. And although I want that frankness, I really don't want to whine all the time.  What is the point?  But, I also value truthfulness and am more than happy to share my experience with others.

Here is where I stand on grieving over my dad.  Most of the time, I can live normal, happy life.  I laugh with my kids, eat too much food, and hang out with my husband.  About thirty times a day I will see, think of, or hear something that reminds me of my dad and it totally grabs at my heart.  Most of the time, I don't dwell on it because it's too raw to.  So, I think about it briefly, say to myself "I can't believe this is real" and then get going with the rest of the day.  Once daily I can't push it away and I have to reflect on it for awhile.  Sometimes, I conjure up all the memories of him I can.  Other times I make myself relive the last time I saw him healthy.  Other times I think about him when he was sick.  On really tough moments I think of him actually dying or lying so handsome in his casket.  I understand I have to feel these emotions too and not just sweep them away.  Every couple days I just have to weep over it.  Most of the time it is after I put the kids to bed.  Holding Claire as I walk her across her room or talking to Hallie about grandpa and heaven really get to me.  On those days I can't do much better than to just cry for a good couple minutes.  Most of the time it is done at the computer because then I can look at pictures of my dad at the same time.  Thankfully, all the time it is with my husband next to me to say "I'm so sorry."

  

Dad and Claire in February of this year . . .the last time I saw him "healthy." 

I like the words of a Shania Twain song that says "It only hurts when I'm breathing . . . My heart only aches when it's beating . . ."  A little dramatic for sure, but even in the all the good, regular life moments it is always present somewhere in my consciousness "Dad  . . . Dad's gone."

That being said, let me emphasize the fact that my dad feels very much alive to me.  That part is easy to comprehend.  He is still a vibrant, honorable, fun soul hard at work for our Father in Heaven.  I know that.  It's just the waiting part . . . to think that I won't hug him again until I am in heaven with him is what makes that big sore lump in my throat that feels impossible to swallow.

I do know this was the Lords' will.  This was my dad's time.  I just get a little selfish that other people have their dads for double the time I had mine.  But then I feel grateful.  I have friends who lost their mother when they were in elementary school.  I have friends who flat out had lousy dads that weren't even there for them.  I had the best dad in the world for me.  A dad that was always present.  He spent as much time as possible with us and made that time count.  And remembering that goes a long way to take the sting away for a bit.

                                            
 Dad and my little self in 1982 . . . I'm so grateful I had him all those years.

My longest friend

My longest friend in the world is Brittany.  Brittany and I have been friends since I was four and she was still three.  We've done tons of sleepovers and birthday parties.  We were each other's bridesmaids.  We were newlywed neighbors in college.  We were into Barbies together and decades later had our first babies just nine months apart.  Brittany is a solid friend.  She is sweet and fun while totally unassuming and easy-going.  And it is no wonder she is so incredible because she comes from an outstanding family.  I always say that her family isn't just friends . . . they are like family.  Brittany's dad even spoke at my dad's funeral (and did an amazing job).  On this particular Sunday, the Campbell's had us over for dinner.  I only wish we could have gotten together even more while we were there. . . and that we were actually in town when Ashley (Britt's sister and my second longest friend) and Luke and their girls were there.

Hallie danced for us

Brittany and Jakey -

I got to be with Britt at the beginning of her labor and see Jake later on the day he was born. 

No one laughs like that sweet boy.  He is a mega charmer!

 Britt, or as we called her in 4th grade-- Big Stuff Campbell's Soup Mmmm Mmmm Good

Summer Pleasures

We've just been soaking up our summer since we've been back in Colorado.  Something I've learned more this summer than with any other is that enjoying the simple pleasures of summer really help me savor it the most.  I think in past summers I just want to go, go, go and do, do, do.  But after the trauma of the beginning of summer, we are reveling in relaxation.  Slow mornings.  Playing on the swings.  Picnics in the backyard.  Easy lunches on the grill.  We are spending less money and just enjoying each other.  Love it.

It was a titch chilly.

Still not used to it . . .

Much better . . . check out those cheezers!

The following is a an advertisement for swim diapers . . . we ran out . . . oops!